Boys get sad too. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for them to get there.
And once they have, it’s usually due to a build up of little moments that have been brushed under the carpet over a period of days, weeks, possibly months. These moments can often seem insignificant at the time - someone pushing past you on the street, reading an off-hand comment on social, having a heated or frustrating conversation, having a bad day at work.
The problem with not looking at the bigger picture is you’ll let these little moments pass instead of dealing with the situation as they happen. Letting it go with the intention that you’ve dealt with it, but you haven’t. Not really. It’s still niggling, sitting at the pit of your stomach. But it’s not important. Not at all.
Until it boils over.
I’ve done this a couple times in my life. The first, I was sitting alone in my living room not doing anything. Literally. I sat in silence, for around thirty minutes before suddenly bursting into tears and being unable to stop. The most recent time, I did the opposite. I went inside a shell and couldn’t talk. When I did, I was snappy and ended up upsetting people I love. I wasn’t me. I don’t know who I was and I hated it. I really try to stop myself from getting to that point now, so when I have moments where I feel myself going towards this build up, I try to talk aloud.
I try to get my brain to work with me and understand where I am at, and where I will end up if I don’t do this now. I try to speak to someone, and let myself ramble. If I’m by myself, I will literally take myself through the step-by-step - admitting I’m upset, and asking myself to trace my steps. If I feel like I can pinpoint the little moments, I can acknowledge and tackle it - albeit retrospectively. I do this. Then I carry on, sometimes unsure if I’ve actually dealt with it at all.
Boys get sad too.
Boys get angry. Boys get inconsolable. They get self-conscious. They get anxious. They get depressed. They become reserved. They get quiet. They allow themselves to become alienated. They isolate themselves. They say they hate themselves. They question their existence. They brush it off. They pick themselves up. They carry on.